{"id":731,"date":"2025-08-18T11:08:45","date_gmt":"2025-08-18T04:08:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/macallanbroker.com\/?p=731"},"modified":"2025-08-18T11:36:22","modified_gmt":"2025-08-18T04:36:22","slug":"the-funniest-insurance-claims-and-quotes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/macallanbroker.com\/th\/the-funniest-insurance-claims-and-quotes\/","title":{"rendered":"The Funniest Insurance Claims and Quotes"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>All genuine scenarios \u2013 <\/strong> <strong>many incorporated into a comic act by Jasper Carrott<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>A bull was standing near and a fly must have tickled him because he gored my car.<\/li>\n<li>A lamp-post bumped into my car, damaging it in two places.<\/li>\n<li>A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.<\/li>\n<li>An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.<\/li>\n<li>As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before.<\/li>\n<li>Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I haven\u2019t got.<\/li>\n<li>Going to work at 7am this morning I drove out of my drive straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early.<\/li>\n<li>I am responsible for the accident as I was miles away at the time.<\/li>\n<li>I am sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.<\/li>\n<li>I bumped into a lamp-post which was obscured by human beings.<\/li>\n<li>I collided with a stationary tramcar coming the other way.<\/li>\n<li>I collided with a stationary tree.<\/li>\n<li>I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.<\/li>\n<li>I consider that neither vehicle was to blame but if either were to blame it was the other one.<\/li>\n<li>I didn\u2019t think the speed limit applied after midnight.<\/li>\n<li>I had been driving for 40 years when I feel asleep at the wheel and had an accident.<\/li>\n<li>I had one eye on a parked car, another on approaching lorries, and another on the woman behind.<\/li>\n<li>I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.<\/li>\n<li>I knocked over a man. He admitted it was his fault as he had been run over before.<\/li>\n<li>I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.<\/li>\n<li>I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog &amp; smothered it with a blanket.<\/li>\n<li>I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.<\/li>\n<li>I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress when we met on impact.<\/li>\n<li>I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.<\/li>\n<li>I thought the side window was down but it was up, as I found when I put my head through it.<\/li>\n<li>I told the other idiot what he was and went on.<\/li>\n<li>I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat I found I had a fractured skull.<\/li>\n<li>I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control.<\/li>\n<li>I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.<\/li>\n<li>I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.<\/li>\n<li>I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.<\/li>\n<li>If the other driver had stopped a few yards behind himself the accident would not have happened.<\/li>\n<li>My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.<\/li>\n<li>No one was to blame for the accident but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert.<\/li>\n<li>No witnesses would admit having seen the mishap until after it happened.<\/li>\n<li>On the M6 I moved from the centre lane to the fast lane but the other car didn\u2019t give way.<\/li>\n<li>Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident? A: Travelled by bus?<\/li>\n<li>She suddenly saw me, lost her head and we met.<\/li>\n<li>The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.<\/li>\n<li>The accident happened when the right front door of a car came round the corner without giving a signal.<\/li>\n<li>The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.<\/li>\n<li>The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week.<\/li>\n<li>The bloke was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.<\/li>\n<li>The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again.<\/li>\n<li>The car in front stopped suddenly and I crashed gently into his luggage grid.<\/li>\n<li>The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing.<\/li>\n<li>The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.<\/li>\n<li>The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.<\/li>\n<li>The other man altered his mind so I had to run into him.<\/li>\n<li>The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run so I ran over him.<\/li>\n<li>The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him.<\/li>\n<li>The telephone pole was approaching and I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front end of my car.<\/li>\n<li>The water in my radiator accidentally froze at 12 midnight.<\/li>\n<li>There was no damage done to the car, as the gate post will testify.<\/li>\n<li>There were plenty of lookers-on but no witnesses.<\/li>\n<li>Three women were talking to each other and when two stepped back and one stepped forward I had to have an accident.<\/li>\n<li>To avoid a collision I ran into the other car.<\/li>\n<li>To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian.<\/li>\n<li>We had completed the turn and had just straightened the car when Miss X put her foot down hard and headed for the ladies\u2019 loo.<\/li>\n<li>When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<hr \/>\n<p><em><strong>Contact Macallan Insurance Broker at:<\/strong><\/em> <em><strong>T. 038 427 904\/5<\/strong><\/em> <em><strong>E.\u00a0<a href=\"mailto:info@macallanbroker.com\">info@macallanbroker.com<\/a><\/strong><\/em> <em><strong>LINE. Macallan<\/strong><\/em><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>All genuine scenarios \u2013 many incorporated into a comic act by Jasper Carrott A bull was standing near and a fly must have tickled him because he gored my car. A lamp-post bumped into my car, damaging it in two places. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car. An invisible car came out [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":732,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-731","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lighter-side"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.1.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>The Funniest Insurance Claims and Quotes - Macallan Broker<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/macallanbroker.com\/th\/the-funniest-insurance-claims-and-quotes\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"th_TH\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Funniest Insurance Claims and Quotes - Macallan Broker\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"All genuine scenarios \u2013 many incorporated into a comic act by Jasper Carrott A bull was standing near and a fly must have tickled him because he gored my car. 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